Behind those words

Believe it or not my mom call me all the time. Not that I don't want her to call ( I really do want her to be here with me and believe as I type I cry) I just wanted to free my mind for awhile. I'm not selfish but this is too much for me. Too much to handle. I can't focus on my studies here because I can't stop thinking about her. How is she? Will she forgets me? (I know it's impossible but I am quite far here and when we're skype-ing I only talk with my sister).

It's sad when you can't be with the person you wanted to be with. I miss them. Every time she called she would tell me about her problems. I wanted to hear her problems, be there with her, to share her burden and I always say 'I can handle this' but actually i'm trying to swallowed the tears from falling. Literally. I love my mom and I wanted to be with her always but I can't because I'm here and she's there. I can't accompany her anymore I can't be there to comfort her. She have my sister there but I wanted to there to hug her every night and kiss her goodnight.

She told me about how tired she's now handling things there. Have I choose the wrong choice to be here instead of there? I care seriously I care! Things might be different now but the problems remain. Having a broken family is seriously a pure shit! I can't handle it anymore. I can't always be strong. I'll do hard to earn money I will I promise you mom I'll turn our lives to be a better one soon. Wait for it. I love you.

I miss my mom so much~

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True Story

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